False Security

This morning I woke feeling pretty good, we'd laid in late, I had breakfast, and whilst thinking about what to do with my day, orderly over me, the Pain filled every nerve and every fibre in my body, I wasn't even able to stand, My breathing was difficult and I was dizzy, this was whilst sitting,

Do you ever get that, a false sense of security then it hits from nowhere, I get it with headaches too, anyway by now I was feeling really lousy, and the rest of the day looked bleak,

Unable to do almost anything Wendie and Dayne had to look after me, please Don't think I'm lazy, really I'm not, it's that sometimes my useless body just won't. do anything, and I mean that literally, remember too this body is dying, No don't feel sorry just understand the consequences of ignoring the Drs and my body for years,

Sitting watching TV, bored to tears, and talking to Wendie, I had no warning at all, I
didn't even know I was going to fart, except I didn't, and I was in a real mess, I just burst into tears, not just a little, but I wept hard, inconsolable, hating my body and all that was happening, at that moment, I wanted to Die right where I sat, life just seemed intolerable, the Pain, the uselessness and the inability to do much at all myself,

Waiting, hoping for a new life, the new house part of the new life, but in real terms for me little changed, the new Electric Wheelchair still a month away as it has been delayed by an extra 2 weeks, even though to weeks had already been added for Christmas and New Year, that was a great disappointment and ruined several plans,

The added pain of a now rather bad case of Cellulitus on my lower leg,giving yet more pain to cope with, and again don't feel sorry for me just see where I'm going, the path I'm on, and please don't be ME, Don't Die like this, the forms n t and anguish that comes from dying from something I caused,

I can't begin to tell you how hard this on all the family, not just me, not even Mainly on me, I see the anguish and love nd absolute terror on Wendies face, the anger my son feels that I'm dying so soon, he put 5 holes in a cupboard door at our previous place when Wendie first told him, I was still in Hospital then,

Don't see you family go through this Agony, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Don't let me die for nothing, take on board my message, understand my motivation, I'm not here to save anyone, or to be a hero, I'm just trying to point all of you to a less painful less soul destroying path to follow,

Believe me I'm not being self indulgent or self pitying, for me there is no hope and very Little future, but for all of you to see just how gut wrenching dying from Diabetes and its complications is, saving your own life medallist simple 1) Listen to your Body, 2) Listen to your Diabetic Team, 3) Listen to other experts and Des you might be sent to, 4) Listen to your Family and friends, 5) Eat sensibly, 6) Excercise Sensibly 7) Don't Die for a very very long time 8) If you are going to ignore my warning, then go the whole hog ... and come swap places with me ... Now go back and read this post again, better still read all my posts in this thread again, now do you STILL want to swap places ??? 

 I felt my experience today very important to explain what might lay ahead on the bad days if people ignore their Diabetes and their Drs, and their body, I am still feeling at my lowest and most painful state ever, give me just a little time, Please,

Kman
7/1/14