Terminal and Scared

I Guess many of you guys will think me weak, silly and pathetic, but honestly, other than that, I hope I'm a nice guy,

I'm 52, just !

I'm very very happily married, we have a 23 year old butter of a son, he's the apple of our eye,

My darling wife is the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person EVER to have walked this earth, and to me the MOST Beautiful too,

OK, you get the picture, All is perfect.

OK except I'm in a wheelchair now, I have to take phone number quantities of drugs each day, just to take the edge from the PAIN I am and never will be free of,

Why ? Well the truth is that almost 19 years of excuses, no real effort, and leaving things too late, I am amongst many other things a Type 2 Diabetic, with almost an entire collection of complications of the Diabetes,

I sit here in the dark, at 6.49 am in terrible pain having had less than an hour's sleep, and I'm balling my eyes out, crying like a new born baby because I'm SCARED,

I'm dying, amongst many things it's due to Diabetic Autonomic Neuropathy, I also have End Organ Damage, and a multitude of other problems,

It's too late for me, I can't be saved,

So WHY am I here now ?

Really because I needed to scream, and I guess to warn you all, PLEASE look after yourselves, DON'T let you'd Diabetes get out of control, be GOOD, be SAFE,

DON'T be ME !!!

Kman
1/11/13