More Love than You Knew Existed

Have you ever been forgiven, for something your guilty of, have you ever received more love than you knew existed ? 

I had taken almost a week to tell Wendie I was not going to survive, 

DYING isn't easy, but if you think the dying suffer, try being a loved one, they Really suffer, 


When I arrived at the Local A & E Dept, There were 2 Doctors waiting outside the doors for me, 

I Was taken virtually straight into ITU and over 5 or. 6. Days enduring being resuscitated twice, and constantly hallucinating that the Staff of Casualty are trying to kill you, NO not the casualty here, the TV show, older episodes not current cast, See I told you I was stupid,It would be the Holby cast, not the Casualty LOL, 

Seriously though, It was really rough time, But unknown to me my dear wife spent 6 or 7 hours alone in a waiting room, until someone came in to tell her chirping "You do realise you won't be taking him home again !!! ", and shortly afterwards Registrar came in to ask if Wendie "Would you like to make him DNR" , which of course we all know means " Do Not Recover, as it will be too expensive and too much of a drain on resources to keep you alive any longer" 

She rather surprisingly said " NO " and didn't take the easy way out, and for the next month, this Wonderful Angel of a woman, put up with all my moaning groaning, she kept house, walked the Dog 4 times a day, did the washing,kept me in everything I needed, and just all the day to day chores, She also visited me once or twice a day pretty much every day for a month, and she gave up the job she loved, sorted Benefits, . ESA took over 4 month's, and at the end of it seemed to love me more than ever, 

She was virtually on her knees by the time I left hospital, so cream crackered and drained of energy, I thought she'd end up in the bed I vacated, she looked very ill, and we still had a long way to go, 

But before all of that, There is a month of prodding and poking, tests and scans, Physioterrorists, IT, more Scans, blood tests, Isolation and barrier nursing, 4 operations, Drs, Drs who think patients with memory problems are congenitally stupid and talk down to them, a month of being Hungry, very hungry, hungry to the point it hurts,and crying yourself to sleep, which you can't do because your just so hungry, ringing home in the middle of the night to beg for food, . 

Of course, all this effects your bowels and water works, . So guess who was prescribed an enema on the morning he's due to leave Hospital, and guess what, they make you wait at least 3 hours after an enema. ... 3 more hours after a whole month, just what I needed, 

Well being home was just the start, 7 different clinics, most of them weekly, . Some twice,two lasted for 5 1/2 months, Dealing with DWP, The dog leaping all over me, licking my foot ulcers and other wounds when changing dressings etc. Daily district nurses, the list goes on, 

PLEASE Don't get me wrong I'm not moaning or complaining about any of it, but I really really want to make you all see what is involved and what is to come if you follow my route, and leave the change in lifestyle too long, ok if you don't change,it MIGHT not happen to you, 

BUT do you really want to put a GUN to your head, and pull the trigger hoping it won't be loaded. ! 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen, this isn't a lecture, but a more from the Heart, Don't make my mistakes, Don't Die with me,Let mine be the only WASTED LIFE, 

The Sadness for me, is not MY dying, but that others might still die even after knowing what we are going through, 

PLEASE PLEASE Stay Well, Take Care, Live Long,

Kman
7/11/13